see Golden Snow and photographing at the beach in Nova Scotia, Canada
dali48 and playing chess and stopping smoking as a sports student in Tübingen in the 70s etc.

When we lived a life of abuse it's like coming out of a muddy river dripping with dirt. We have to take time to breathe, to clean up and find ourselves before we go into any relationship. Of course we do not recognize this at that time what is happening because we just need the love we lack. We are desperate for relief of some kind. We are like an alcoholic. We have problems of codependency, and we will make mistakes. We all love to be cherished and loved. It is a need from within. It is not entirely bad. We all need love. We are all human and vulnerable. When the pain and hurt begins to lift we can acknowledge our feelings and slow down. We have to learn to be in the moment and not rush forward or stay in the past...
Golden Snow "Coming around the curve in the road dali48 , some things are hiding from memory , thanks for your help never would have reached this place without your encouragement ..."

see dali48 and "I think - therefore I am" etc. (Descartes), see The motto "I buy, so I am" (M. Fox)
"As long as humans think that animals do not feel, animals must feel that humans do not think." " - author unknown
see dali48 and nearly being touched by a low flying swift at lake Unterbacher near Erkrath, 8/1983 till 5/2010
Each day is our whole life - from sunrise to sunset etc… (dali48)
see dali48 and "Zen finds religion in the daily activities." (I-tuan), see Does Zen believe in a soul? - However, the Buddha taught that there are no such things as a permanent Self or Soul which can be reincarnated or reborn after death (Rahula, 1974: page 3). The Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh believes there is no reincarnation in Buddhism (Miller, 2012).
see What is a Zen spirit? - Zen is defined as a state of calm where actions are guided by intuition rather than by conscious effort. The term comes from the Japanese pronunciation of the Chinese word Chan – with roots to the Indian practice of thinking and meditating known as Dhyana.
see What is the psychology of Zen? - Zen is experiential, not didactic. Enlightenment relies heavily on intuition, metaphor, and poetry. The master can point in the general direction toward wisdom, but each person must find their own personal path.19.03.2022
see Is Zen ok for Christians? - Because they are not on the same plane, Zen and Christianity do not conflict. Graham in his book, Zen Catholicism also points out that there is no harm in applying Zen insights into Catholicism.
see Does Zen believe in afterlife? - In Zen, Life and Death are one, a continuum, and they are not separated and there is no dividing line between them (as, indeed, there is actually no dividing line between anything, there only seems to be – divisions are arbitrary and made to enable us to function in the finite world, what Zen calls 'the world of form') ...10.03.2014
see How does Zen affect life? - Zen meditation reduces stress and anxiety by promoting relaxation and deep-breathing techniques. It helps people to manage their emotions, gain clarity of mind and experience deep peace and emotional well-being. The practice halts constant intrusive thoughts.09.05.2024
see What makes a person Zen? - They don't let stress, anger, or frustration get the better of them. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the word “zen” refers to a person's ability to remain calm and relaxed in the face of difficulties and not worry about things out of their control.27.02.2021
see Is Zen good for Mental Health? - Meditation and mindfulness practices like Zen Therapy have also been shown to have a variety of other positive effects, both mentally and physically, such as promoting feelings of calmness, improving sleep and immune function, reducing feelings of stress and increasing self-awareness.09.11.2022
Let go of something you like, and realize how fleeting it is by living without it... (Ayya Khema)
Buddha realized that all living beings suffer because they desire and cling ... - Peace is an inner attitude to life that consists of letting go and renunciation (see e.g. nuns & monks etc. - d.48) ... (Buddha)
„Das Leben im Daseinskreislauf ist leidvoll: Geburt ist Leiden, Altern ist Leiden, Krankheit ist Leiden, Tod ist Leiden; Kummer, Lamentieren, Schmerz und Verzweiflung sind Leiden." (Buddha)
see dali48 and own experiences and reading & writing about Kübler-Ross, Moody, NDE, LAL etc.
Hands that help are holier than lips that pray! (Robert Green Ingersoll)
see dali48 and UBI & ground pension since 2008, and inflation compensation etc.
see dali48 and Climate Change since Copenhagen 2009 etc. - "Uncontrolled capitalism is producing evil - as bees are producing honey" etc.
see dali48 and reading & writing about peace etc. - see e.g. Zen and Buddhism & Peace & Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ayya Khema etc, and St Nicholas, St Hildegard, St Francis etc. (dali48)
May "God" bless you! - see dali48 and may the Saints & Guardian Angels bless you etc.!
see dali48 and eating less meat, and more fruits & veggies since the 80s etc.
see dali48 and reading & writing about chick shredding, and buying Free range eggs etc.
Homeopathy of S. Hahnemann (ca. 200 years old) should be updated, - i.e. for me more Mother tincture & less medicine shaking, and why is there no homeopathic vaccination? - see "similibus" principle etc. (dali48)
see dali48 and "I hope that Biontech (formerly in Mainz, now in London) & #mRNA #vaccines etc. - will develop a vaccination against cancer etc."
see dali48 and Vollgeld-Initiative & Basic Income in Europe etc. - instead of Banking Crisis 2008 etc.
I also like weeping willow trees - e.g. when I was on camping vacation in the 80s in France & Spain, I had my lunch (fish soup) under such a tree (that was like a tent) in the park of Bordeaux etc. (dali48)
see dali48 and "flora & fauna" since ca. 2000, and deforestation instead of planting trees etc
see dali48 and trees and "flora & fauna" and healthy air etc..
see dali48 and Bread - instead of fire-works harming animals, pets etc.
see dali48 and Democracy & human rights & gender justice etc.
"Respect for life - should be the only religion in the world!" - "Religion is a journey inside - and meditation is the way there." ... (Osho)
see dali48 and health and suitable shoes (see e.g. Canles etc. - d.48) & foot hygiene etc.
see dali48 and “If the Trees disappeared off the face of the earth - mankind would only have little left to live healthy,” see e.g. Amazonas forest, Indonesia
siehe dali48 und "Wie viel Wald verliert Deutschland aktuell pro Jahr? - Die Ergebnisse sind alarmierend: Von Januar 2018 bis einschließlich April 2021 wurden in Deutschland auf rund 501.000 Hektar Fläche Baumverluste verzeichnet. Der Verlust entspricht fast fünf Prozent der gesamten Waldfläche und ist damit erheblich höher als bisher angenommen. 21.02.2022"
see e.g. @CGShanghaiAir Shanghai - 2023-03-06 4PM - PM2.5 - 103 AQI - Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups ... etc.
siehe z.B. Air quality in Mönchengladbach etc.
see dali48 and trees & photo synthesis and fresh air and health and cooling and biodiversity etc.
see dali48 and "flora & fauna" and reforesting etc.
siehe „Eine Gesellschaft ohne Gott, ist wie eine gut organisierte Räuberbande“, hat Papst Benedikt den Bundestagsabgeordneten ins Stammbuch geschrieben (see e.g. Cum-Ex etc. - d.48)
see dali48 and demand for the repayment of 300 euros of self-approved inflation compensation for politicians at the taxpayer's expense etc.
see dali48 and demand for the repayment of 300 euros of self-approved inflation compensation for politicians at the taxpayer's expense etc.
see dali48 and health and herbs (see e.g. M. Mességué), and e.g. kidney-tea, gastrointestinal tea, tea for colds etc.
see dali48 and "Words have no direct reference to life, are only a pale echo or image of something that itself is no longer there" ... (D. T. Suzuki)
see dali48's mother Gabriele and playing piano in Steinbach in the 50s, see dali48 and playing piano for 1 year with Mrs Kirsch in SHA in the 50s, and Christmas songs with Mrs Takahashi in Erkrath in the 80s
see dali48 and reading about money & war, - and feeding the poor & birds etc.
In Armut lebt: Jeder 3. Student & 5. Rentner, Wer kein „Entlastungspaket“ bekommt: Studierende, Rentner ohne Grundrente, Kranke, https://pic.twitter.com/RUv88KaLbx
see dali48 & for UBI since 2008 & #ClimateEmergency 2022 & for alternative energy as e.g. wind power & solar energy and solar-
lamp, roof, panel, cooker, window solar-foil etc. since the 70s as a student in Tübingen etc.
see dali48 and writing Tagebuch 2008 + 2009, diary3 (2010) in Erkrath, ediary4+5 (2011+2012), Collection of ediary6-12 (2013-2019) in Wickrath etc.
see dali48 and started cycling in the 1950s at the age of 4.5 in Steinbach, cycled to the St. Michael high school in SHA in the 1960s, cycled on the motorway near Freiburg on car-free Sunday during the 1973 oil crisis, 1978 cycling by tricycle to the grocery store on Kyushu in Japan, cycling in Erkrath, and around Lake Unterbach, along the Rhine in Düsseldorf and Cologne etc., 8/1983 - 5/2010, cycling by his folding-bike in Amsterdam 1998, cycling in Wickrath since 6/2010 etc.
"Write your life - Or they'll wait till you're dead to write the lie"... (@spectraspeaks)
The Snow Dance Part 94 by Golden Snow
There was a lot of trouble, and it seemed happening around me. I have to be honest that I do not remember too much but will attempt to remember me as much as I can... They say we can have a selecting memory, and maybe I have chosen to leave it behind me. My youngest son suffered the most because he was living in part off my home. His father was living downstairs. Every evening he asked him to go out with him to see what I was doing.
Father McDonald told me he was always in the mall watching me from across the hall from the store and followed when I went to lunch but I never have seen him. I remember one day I looked out, and he sat on the bench in front of the store, was crying and his shoulders were shaking. I went out and told him that he would have to leave because he was not supposed to be near me. He grabbed my hand and started begging me to come home. I remember I said something that made him mad, and he left. He was really angry. The staff called the Father, and he came over to the store to bring me home. He said: "You have to move into the city, you are too far outside in order to be alone."
I loved the old school house and said: "Maybe later." Again he felt that he should stay for the night. I told him that he was a priest, and it was not right. He left...
Golden Snow "How can I thank you for all your hard work dali48 . Everything is so perfect ... you are a marvelous teacher ... thank you for your patience ..."
The Snow Dance Part 94 by Golden Snow
There was a lot of trouble, and it seemed happening around me. I have to be honest that I do not remember too much but will attempt to remember me as much as I can... They say we can have a selecting memory, and maybe I have chosen to leave it behind me. My youngest son suffered the most because he was living in part off my home. His father was living downstairs. Every evening he asked him to go out with him to see what I was doing.
Father McDonald told me he was always in the mall watching me from across the hall from the store and followed when I went to lunch but I never have seen him. I remember one day I looked out, and he sat on the bench in front of the store, was crying and his shoulders were shaking. I went out and told him that he would have to leave because he was not supposed to be near me. He grabbed my hand and started begging me to come home. I remember I said something that made him mad, and he left. He was really angry. The staff called the Father, and he came over to the store to bring me home. He said: "You have to move into the city, you are too far outside in order to be alone."
I loved the old school house and said: "Maybe later." Again he felt that he should stay for the night. I told him that he was a priest, and it was not right. He left...
Golden Snow "How can I thank you for all your hard work dali48 . Everything is so perfect ... you are a marvelous teacher ... thank you for your patience ..."
The Snow Dance Part Part 95 by Golden Snow + update
Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We awake one day and find out that it is an illusion. That person did not hold it at all. That love we thought they would hold, did not contain our happiness. We reach out in desperate moments and try to claim the happiness and love we need. We want them to create our joy. It cannot happen. We have to deal with our issues, and we have to find our own happiness. Did I know that then, not in a long run. I stepped into a situation that lasted for over twenty years. Was I unhappy? No, but unfulfilled. Our healing from abuse will come when we become aware of, how we attempt to use others to take away our pain...
Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We awake one day and find out that it is an illusion. That person did not hold it at all. That love we thought they would hold, did not contain our happiness. We reach out in desperate moments and try to claim the happiness and love we need. We want them to create our joy. It cannot happen. We have to deal with our issues, and we have to find our own happiness. Did I know that then, not in a long run. I stepped into a situation that lasted for over twenty years. Was I unhappy? No, but unfulfilled. Our healing from abuse will come when we become aware of, how we attempt to use others to take away our pain...
Übersicht mit KI
The statement "Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim" emphasizes that individual well-being is not dependent on the actions or approval of others, but rather on internal factors and personal responsibility. It suggests that true happiness and well-being come from within, and that one should not rely on others to provide or control their emotional state.
Here's a breakdown of the concept:
Internal locus of control:
The statement highlights that individuals have the power to influence their own well-being. This involves taking responsibility for one's emotions, choices, and actions, rather than attributing them to external factors or other people.
Emotional independence:
It implies that one's emotional state should not be contingent on the behavior of others. It encourages self-reliance and the ability to manage one's emotions and well-being regardless of external circumstances.
Self-acceptance and personal growth:
The idea that well-being is not dictated by others can also be linked to self-acceptance and the pursuit of personal growth. This involves understanding one's own strengths and weaknesses, and working towards self-improvement without seeking external validation.
Resilience and coping mechanisms:
The statement can also be interpreted as a call for building resilience and developing healthy coping mechanisms to deal with challenging situations. This means learning to manage stress, overcome adversity, and maintain a positive outlook, even when faced with difficulties.
Focus on personal agency:
Ultimately, the statement promotes a sense of personal agency and empowerment. It suggests that individuals have the power to shape their own lives, create their own happiness, and cultivate their own well-being, rather than passively waiting for external forces to act upon them.
Gaining our happiness remains in our own hands. I never learned this lesson until many years later from a great person who had patience with a hurt and destroyed woman. He lifted and whispered the words to save my dying soul. Some days these words hurt, other days they fill my soul and draw me up from my illusions. A man filled with love for all things. A man who himself walked the road to hell and still filled the world with love. It is hard to open one's soul to anyone and caution has to be taken, or we will find ourselves be hurt again...
Gaining our happiness remains in our own hands. I never learned this lesson until many years later from a great person who had patience with a hurt and destroyed woman. He lifted and whispered the words to save my dying soul. Some days these words hurt, other days they fill my soul and draw me up from my illusions. A man filled with love for all things. A man who himself walked the road to hell and still filled the world with love. It is hard to open one's soul to anyone and caution has to be taken, or we will find ourselves be hurt again...
Übersicht mit KI
The idea that gaining happiness is within our own hands is a powerful concept supported by research and personal experience. While external factors like genetics and circumstances play a role, ultimately, individuals have a significant degree of control over their own happiness levels. This involves cultivating a positive mindset, making conscious choices to engage in activities that bring joy, and taking responsibility for one's own well-being.
Elaboration:
Happiness as a Choice:
While it's not as simple as "snapping your fingers" and becoming happy, research suggests that happiness is, in part, a choice. People can cultivate happiness by actively choosing to focus on positive aspects of their lives, practicing gratitude, and engaging in activities that promote well-being.
Taking Responsibility:
One of the key aspects of taking control of one's happiness is taking responsibility for one's own well-being. This involves acknowledging that while external factors can influence our happiness, ultimately, we have the power to choose our responses and cultivate a positive mindset.
Internal vs. External Factors:
It's important to recognize that happiness is influenced by both internal factors (our thoughts, attitudes, and choices) and external factors (our environment, relationships, and circumstances). However, our internal factors have a significant impact on how we perceive and react to external circumstances.
Examples of Taking Control:
Examples of taking control of one's happiness include making time for activities that bring joy, practicing mindfulness and gratitude, building strong social connections, and prioritizing self-care.
The Role of Mindset:
Our mindset plays a crucial role in our happiness. By cultivating a positive and optimistic mindset, we can shift our focus from what is wrong to what is right, and find joy in the present moment.
Personal Growth and Fulfillment:
Taking ownership of our happiness can also lead to personal growth and fulfillment. When we actively work on our own well-being, we are more likely to pursue our goals, build strong relationships, and live a more meaningful life.
When we lived a life of abuse it's like coming out of a muddy river dripping with dirt. We have to take time to breathe, to clean up and find ourselves before we go into any relationship. Of course we do not recognize this at that time what is happening because we just need the love we lack. We are desperate for relief of some kind. We are like an alcoholic. We have problems of codependency, and we will make mistakes. We all love to be cherished and loved. It is a need from within. It is not entirely bad. We all need love. We are all human and vulnerable. When the pain and hurt begins to lift we can acknowledge our feelings and slow down. We have to learn to be in the moment and not rush forward or stay in the past...
Übersicht mit KI
Codependency is a relationship pattern where one person sacrifices their own needs and well-being to care for, control, or enable another person, often to their detriment. It's characterized by an unhealthy dependence on the relationship, a lack of personal boundaries, and an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others.
Here's a more detailed look at codependency:
What it is:
Unhealthy dependence:
Codependency involves an imbalanced relationship where one person's self-worth and identity become overly tied to the other person's needs and behaviors.
Sacrificing self:
Codependents often prioritize the needs of others, even when it means neglecting their own needs and well-being.
Need for control:
A core aspect of codependency is the desire to control or influence the other person's behavior, sometimes through caretaking or enabling.
Fear of abandonment:
Codependents may have a strong fear of being alone and may cling to relationships, even unhealthy ones, to avoid feeling abandoned.
Common signs and symptoms:
Low self-esteem:
Codependents often rely on external validation and approval from others for their sense of self-worth.
People-pleasing:
They may go to great lengths to please others and avoid conflict, even at the expense of their own needs.
Difficulty setting boundaries:
They struggle to say "no" and may have trouble establishing healthy boundaries in relationships.
Excessive caretaking:
They may take on more than their fair share of responsibility for others and their problems.
Difficulty identifying feelings:
Codependents may have trouble recognizing and expressing their own emotions.
Feelings of resentment and anger:
They may harbor resentment towards the person they are caring for, leading to anger and frustration.
Fear of abandonment or loneliness:
This fear can drive them to stay in unhealthy relationships.
Perfectionism:
Codependents may strive for perfection in themselves and others to feel in control or worthy.
Causes of codependency:
Family history:
Codependency can be learned within families where there is substance abuse, mental illness, or other dysfunctional patterns.
Early childhood experiences:
Trauma, neglect, or inconsistent parenting can contribute to the development of codependent behaviors.
Low self-esteem:
A lack of self-worth can lead individuals to seek validation and fulfillment through relationships, potentially resulting in codependency.
Consequences of codependency:
Emotional distress:
Codependency can lead to anxiety, depression, resentment, and other negative emotions.
Relationship problems:
Codependent relationships can be marked by conflict, imbalance, and a lack of intimacy.
Burnout and exhaustion:
Caretaking and enabling can be emotionally draining and lead to burnout.
Loss of self:
Codependents may lose sight of their own needs, desires, and identity as they become overly focused on the other person.
Treatment for codependency:
Therapy:
Psychotherapy, particularly cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can help individuals identify and change codependent patterns.
Support groups:
Support groups like Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) can provide a safe space for individuals to share their experiences and learn from others.
Self-care:
Focusing on self-care activities, such as exercise, healthy eating, and hobbies, can help build self-esteem and independence.
Setting boundaries:
Learning to set healthy boundaries in relationships is crucial for breaking free from codependency.
Developing self-esteem:
Working on self-esteem and self-worth can help individuals feel more confident and independent.
Golden Snow "Coming around the curve in the road dali48 , some things are hiding from memory , thanks for your help never would have reached this place without your encouragement ..."
Golden Snow
"Hello dali48 , again I thank you for your teaching and patience to keep me going , moving alone a little better ..."
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