30.07.2025 - Steven Carter & Julia Sokol and Relationships & Shame, pain, manipulation, misunderstandings etc.

dali48 and private tuition since 8/1983, menaced since 1989, and writing diary & books and photographing in Erkrath till 5/2010

dali48 and playing chess and stopping smoking as a sports student in Tübingen in the 70s etc.

 

Wolfgang G. Greiner 

dali48 was born in SHA in 1948... Studies in Tübingen in 1970 etc. Teacher & Author in Erkrath, 8/1983 till 5/2010 ... retired in Wickrath since 6/2013 etc.

see dali48 and "I think - therefore I am" etc. (Descartes), see The motto "I buy, so I am" (M. Fox)

"As long as humans think that animals do not feel, animals must feel that humans do not think." " - author unknown

see dali48 and nearly being touched by a low flying swift at lake Unterbacher near Erkrath, 8/1983 till 5/2010

Each day is our whole life - from sunrise to sunset etc… (dali48) 

see dali48 and "Zen finds religion in the daily activities." (I-tuan), see Does Zen believe in a soul? - However, the Buddha taught that there are no such things as a permanent Self or Soul which can be reincarnated or reborn after death (Rahula, 1974: page 3). The Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh believes there is no reincarnation in Buddhism (Miller, 2012).

see What is a Zen spirit? - Zen is defined as a state of calm where actions are guided by intuition rather than by conscious effort. The term comes from the Japanese pronunciation of the Chinese word Chan – with roots to the Indian practice of thinking and meditating known as Dhyana.

see What is the psychology of Zen? - Zen is experiential, not didactic. Enlightenment relies heavily on intuition, metaphor, and poetry. The master can point in the general direction toward wisdom, but each person must find their own personal path.19.03.2022

see Is Zen ok for Christians? - Because they are not on the same plane, Zen and Christianity do not conflict. Graham in his book, Zen Catholicism also points out that there is no harm in applying Zen insights into Catholicism.

see Does Zen believe in afterlife? - In Zen, Life and Death are one, a continuum, and they are not separated and there is no dividing line between them (as, indeed, there is actually no dividing line between anything, there only seems to be – divisions are arbitrary and made to enable us to function in the finite world, what Zen calls 'the world of form') ...10.03.2014

see How does Zen affect life? - Zen meditation reduces stress and anxiety by promoting relaxation and deep-breathing techniques. It helps people to manage their emotions, gain clarity of mind and experience deep peace and emotional well-being. The practice halts constant intrusive thoughts.09.05.2024

see What makes a person Zen? - They don't let stress, anger, or frustration get the better of them. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the word “zen” refers to a person's ability to remain calm and relaxed in the face of difficulties and not worry about things out of their control.27.02.2021

see Is Zen good for Mental Health? - Meditation and mindfulness practices like Zen Therapy have also been shown to have a variety of other positive effects, both mentally and physically, such as promoting feelings of calmness, improving sleep and immune function, reducing feelings of stress and increasing self-awareness.09.11.2022

Let go of something you like, and realize how fleeting it is by living without it... (Ayya Khema) 

What is the Buddhist quote about pain? - A quote usually attributed to Buddha says, “Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.” What a profound statement! There is no suffering if you can let go. Pain becomes immaterial in the absence of suffering.29.01.2012

Buddha realized that all living beings suffer because they desire and cling ... - Peace is an inner attitude to life that consists of letting go and renunciation (see e.g. nuns & monks etc. - d.48) ... (Buddha) 

„Das Leben im Daseinskreislauf ist leidvoll: Geburt ist Leiden, Altern ist Leiden, Krankheit ist Leiden, Tod ist Leiden; Kummer, Lamentieren, Schmerz und Verzweiflung sind Leiden." (Buddha)

see dali48 and own experiences and reading & writing about Kübler-Ross, Moody, NDE, LAL etc. 

Hands that help are holier than lips that pray! (Robert Green Ingersoll) 

see dali48 and UBI & ground pension since 2008, and inflation compensation etc.

see dali48 and Climate Change since Copenhagen 2009 etc. - "Uncontrolled capitalism is producing evil - as bees are producing honey" etc.

see dali48 and reading & writing about peace etc. - see e.g. Zen and Buddhism & Peace & Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ayya Khema etc, and St Nicholas, St Hildegard, St Francis etc. (dali48)

May "God" bless you! - see dali48 and may the Saints & Guardian Angels bless you etc.!

see dali48 and eating less meat, and more fruits & veggies since the 80s etc.

see dali48 and reading & writing about chick shredding, and buying Free range eggs etc.

Homeopathy of S. Hahnemann (ca. 200 years old) should be updated, - i.e. for me more Mother tincture & less medicine shaking, and why is there no homeopathic vaccination? - see "similibus" principle etc. (dali48)

see dali48 and "I hope that Biontech (formerly in Mainz, now in London) & #mRNA #vaccines etc. - will develop a vaccination against cancer etc."

see dali48 and Vollgeld-Initiative & Basic Income in Europe etc. - instead of Banking Crisis 2008 etc.

I also like weeping willow trees - e.g. when I was on camping vacation in the 80s in France & Spain, I had my lunch (fish soup) under such a tree (that was like a tent) in the park of Bordeaux etc. (dali48)

see dali48 and "flora & fauna" since ca. 2000, and deforestation instead of planting trees etc

see dali48 and trees and "flora & fauna" and healthy air etc..

see dali48 and Bread - instead of fire-works harming animals, pets etc.

see dali48 and Democracy & human rights & gender justice etc.

"Respect for life - should be the only religion in the world!" - "Religion is a journey inside - and meditation is the way there." ... (Osho)

see dali48 and health and suitable shoes (see e.g. Canles etc. - d.48) & foot hygiene etc.

see dali48 and “If the Trees disappeared off the face of the earth - mankind would only have little left to live healthy,” see e.g. Amazonas forest, Indonesia

siehe dali48 und "Wie viel Wald verliert Deutschland aktuell pro Jahr? - Die Ergebnisse sind alarmierend: Von Januar 2018 bis einschließlich April 2021 wurden in Deutschland auf rund 501.000 Hektar Fläche Baumverluste verzeichnet. Der Verlust entspricht fast fünf Prozent der gesamten Waldfläche und ist damit erheblich höher als bisher angenommen. 21.02.2022" 

see e.g. @CGShanghaiAir Shanghai - 2023-03-06 4PM - PM2.5 - 103 AQI - Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups ... etc. 

siehe z.B. Air quality in Mönchengladbach etc.

see dali48 and trees & photo synthesis and fresh air and health and cooling and biodiversity etc.

see dali48 and "flora & fauna" and reforesting etc.

siehe „Eine Gesellschaft ohne Gott, ist wie eine gut organisierte Räuberbande“, hat Papst Benedikt den Bundestagsabgeordneten ins Stammbuch geschrieben (see e.g. Cum-Ex etc. - d.48)
see dali48 and demand for the repayment of 300 euros of self-approved inflation compensation for politicians at the taxpayer's expense etc.

see dali48 and health and herbs (see e.g. M. Mességué), and e.g. kidney-tea, gastrointestinal tea, tea for colds etc.

see dali48 and "Words have no direct reference to life, are only a pale echo or image of something that itself is no longer there" ... (D. T. Suzuki)

see dali48's mother Gabriele and playing piano in Steinbach in the 50s, see dali48 and playing piano for 1 year with Mrs Kirsch in SHA in the 50s, and Christmas songs with Mrs Takahashi in Erkrath in the 80s

see dali48 and reading about money & war, - and feeding the poor & birds etc.

In Armut lebt: Jeder 3. Student & 5. Rentner, Wer kein „Entlastungspaket“ bekommt: Studierende, Rentner ohne Grundrente, Kranke, https://pic.twitter.com/RUv88KaLbx

see dali48 & for UBI since 2008 & #ClimateEmergency 2022 & for alternative energy as e.g. wind power & solar energy and solar- 

lamp, roof, panel, cooker, window solar-foil etc. since the 70s as a student in Tübingen etc.

see dali48 and writing Tagebuch 2008 + 2009, diary3 (2010) in Erkrath, ediary4+5 (2011+2012), Collection of ediary6-12 (2013-2019) in Wickrath etc.

see dali48 and started cycling in the 1950s at the age of 4.5 in Steinbach, cycled to the St. Michael high school in SHA in the 1960s, cycled on the motorway near Freiburg on car-free Sunday during the 1973 oil crisis, 1978 cycling by tricycle to the grocery store on Kyushu in Japan, cycling in Erkrath, and around Lake Unterbach, along the Rhine in Düsseldorf and Cologne etc., 8/1983 - 5/2010, cycling by his folding-bike in Amsterdam 1998, cycling in Wickrath since 6/2010 etc. - and no own car since ca. 2004 etc.

Bilder

diary 3

BoD Buchshop

diary 3: by dali48 on twitter : Dali, 48: Amazon.de: Books

Amazon.de

diary 3: by dali48 on twitter : Dali: Amazon.de: Bücher

Amazon.de

16.12.2013 - Shame and Relationships... by dali48 on HP

29.04.2001 - Interpretation of dali48 + update
Shame is lethal to human relationships. - Shame drives us all into isolation and loneliness. - Shame keeps us from getting involved in another ... (Carter / Sokol)

Übersicht mit KI

Scham, Isolation und Einsamkeit sind eng miteinander verbundene, aber unterschiedliche Erfahrungen. Scham kann zu sozialer Isolation führen, während Einsamkeit ein subjektives Gefühl des Mangels an sozialen Kontakten ist. Isolation ist ein objektiver Zustand der Trennung von anderen, der sowohl zu Scham als auch zu Einsamkeit führen kann. 

Scham:

Scham ist eine negative Emotion, die auftritt, wenn man sich für etwas schuldig oder unwürdig hält.

Scham kann dazu führen, dass man sich von anderen zurückzieht und soziale Kontakte vermeidet.

Scham kann ein Gefühl der Isolation verstärken und die Fähigkeit beeinträchtigen, positive Beziehungen aufzubauen. 

Isolation:

Isolation ist ein objektiver Zustand, in dem eine Person wenig oder keinen Kontakt zu anderen Menschen hat. 

Isolation kann durch verschiedene Faktoren verursacht werden, wie z.B. Umzug in eine neue Stadt, Verlust von Freunden oder Familie, oder durch psychische Erkrankungen. 

Isolation kann sowohl emotional als auch sozial sein. Emotionale Isolation bezieht sich auf den Verlust einer wichtigen Bezugsperson, während soziale Isolation den Mangel an einem breiten sozialen Netzwerk betrifft. 

Einsamkeit:

Einsamkeit ist ein subjektives Gefühl des Mangels an sozialen Kontakten und Beziehungen.

Einsamkeit ist nicht unbedingt mit sozialer Isolation verbunden. Man kann sich auch inmitten anderer Menschen einsam fühlen.

Einsamkeit kann zu negativen Emotionen wie Trauer, Angst und Depression führen. 

Zusammenhang:

Scham kann zu sozialer Isolation führen, was wiederum Einsamkeit verstärken kann. 

Einsamkeit kann zu Schamgefühlen führen, da man sich als Versager oder Außenseiter fühlt. 

Isolation und Einsamkeit können zu psychischen Problemen wie Depressionen und Angstzuständen führen. 

Bewältigungsstrategien:

Es ist wichtig, Scham- und Einsamkeitsgefühle anzuerkennen und zu akzeptieren. 

Der Aufbau von sozialen Kontakten und Beziehungen ist entscheidend, um Isolation und Einsamkeit zu überwinden. 

Professionelle Hilfe kann bei der Bewältigung von Scham, Isolation und Einsamkeit hilfreich sein. 

Perhaps you have been misunderstood or ignored or openly ... - Perhaps you have been even left completely alone. - The world can be a very dangerous place, - a painful place ...
You have learned to play it ... - And so you have to know what shame ... - We have established limits - When these are threatened - we panic or run away - just to make sure that we will never be hurt ...
If we do not communicate important feelings, - we become prisoners of our own solitude. - It is very painful to be ... - It requires courage to show yourself - but the rewards far outweigh the risk ...
Who is inwardly happy - doesn’t deal with others so ... - People living with themselves and what they do in agreement - may also accept others better ...
What we should not accept:
Partners who provide proof to abuse us physically, emotionally, financially or ... - are unkind to our children, friends, pets, or families, are disloyal or dishonest, - and belittle our achievements etc...
Some of us do not trust the love or they do not believe that love will ... - We feel guilty, vulnerable and weak, if someone loves ... - We are dependent, insecure and are afraid of losing ... - And all that we do not want to feel ...
Relationships are always a risk, - and control is the opposite of ... - Control is an obstacle to feelings. - Control is manipulation and ... - the doors to our heart ... (S. Carter / J. Sokol)

What is the most emotional pain in the world? - Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has long been believed to be a disorder that produces the most intense emotional pain and distress in those who have this condition. Studies have shown that borderline patients experience chronic and significant emotional suffering and mental agony.

What does it mean to be emotionally hurt? - Emotional pain refers to the psychological discomfort or suffering experienced due to distressing events, thoughts, or feelings. It can manifest as sadness, grief, anger, anxiety, or a combination of these emotions, and it often results from situations such as loss, rejection, trauma, or disappointment.19.03.2024 
Übersicht mit KIControlling and manipulating emotions involves strategies to manage one's own feelings and recognizing tactics used to influence others. Emotional regulation is the ability to manage one's emotional state, while manipulation involves using deceptive or controlling behaviors to influence others. Effective strategies for both include setting boundaries, practicing self-awareness, and seeking support when needed. Strategies for Emotional Control (Regulation):Recognize and Name Emotions:Become aware of your feelings and label them to better understand their source. Identify Triggers:Pinpoint situations, thoughts, or events that trigger specific emotions. Practice Self-Compassion:Be kind to yourself when experiencing difficult emotions, rather than criticizing. Mindfulness and Meditation:Engage in practices that help you observe and accept your emotions without judgment. Healthy Coping Mechanisms:Utilize strategies like exercise, spending time in nature, and talking with friends to manage stress and difficult emotions. Seek Professional Help:If you struggle with persistent emotional dysregulation, consider therapy or counseling. Strategies for Dealing with Manipulative People:Set Boundaries:Establish clear boundaries regarding acceptable behavior and communicate them assertively. Communicate Effectively:Maintain a calm and composed demeanor when interacting with manipulators, and use "I" statements to express your feelings. Seek Support:Talk to trusted friends, family members, or professionals about the situation. Document Interactions:Keep a record of manipulative behaviors, especially in formal settings. Limit Contact:If necessary, reduce or eliminate contact with manipulative individuals to protect your well-being. Trust Your Instincts:If something feels wrong, it's important to listen to your intuition and take appropriate action. Educate Yourself:Learn about manipulation tactics to better recognize and respond to them. Prioritize Self-Care:Ensure you are taking care of your physical and mental health, as this is crucial for navigating manipulative situations. 

Steven A. Carter - Wikipedia

All of the above titles were co-authored with Julia Sokol. Carter and Sokol's first book on commitmentphobia, Men Who Can't Love, was an instant bestseller after ...

see dali48 and reading & writing about Psychology & Psychiatry and e.g. Freud, Adler, Jung, and Groddeck, Frankl, Fromm, Reich, and Laing, Cooper, and M. Rufer, A. Wolf-Schuler, T. Wollf, I. D. Yalom, J. Bradshaw, V. Kast, A. Lowen, W. Reich, P. Lauster, P. Schellenbaum, J. Murphy, S. Steinbrecher, E. Kübler-Ross, R. A. Moody, K. Ring, I. D. Suttie, E. Jacobson, S. Forward, H. Gastager, C. M. Steiner, W. G. Niederland, R. Funk, N. Schwartz-Salant, A. Janov, A. & M. Mitscherlich, H. König, W. Hollstein, W. H. Lechler, E. Drewermann, B. Bettelheim, V. Kast, M. Klein, M. Lütz, j. Borysenko etc.