19.02.2014 - Life in the Presence etc. by dali48
28.05.2000 - Interpretation of dali48
Before I got to know the screaming, I was not aware that one cannot talk about feelings, - that one must feel it… (J. C. Lair / W. H. Lechler)
Most of us hate themselves. - We can not forgive us our shortcomings. - If we seem inadequate to us, it means that we are failures, and we can not tolerate failures… We compare ourselves with others. In our view, the others are the successful ones, and this is the origin of our self-hatred. As long as we cannot permit ourselves to be a failure and make mistakes, we will hate ourselves… We deny the life and ourselves, and then live with the expectation of pain, fear and anger. - So we are forced to flee, to retreat or to fight, or we think we are ready to fight like rattlesnakes… The receipt for our conduct is deprivation and misery, a state of unease. - Alcohol, drugs and other escape facilities are designed to make us forget our inadequacy… Peace is there, - if we reconcile ourselves with our very nature... My old basic belief tells me that I cannot stand the pain, - so I have to eliminate it. To kill the pain by suicide, of course, would mean the end of everything, and I do not want this... To stop the pain for a while, I have only to change my situation. - The secret lies in changing our attitude and the ability to change, we all have... If we surrender, our inflated ego is scaled back to its true size, - and then we can accept all the gifts, which are already available to us. - With our inflated ego, we can not receive, which remains a formidable obstacle... In America we have heard much of Lourdes. There, many miracles happen, but not the place is the cause, - but the faith of the people… It is important to create an atmosphere of trust, in which each can let go and trust in "God." - That is unconditional surrender. Wherever you manage such an atmosphere, miracles will happen… We have the power to create the atmosphere in our own families, if we fill our lack, by changing our attitudes and are one with ourselves, our families, and our environment… Bonding stops nowhere, - capitulation knows no boundaries... Our families, our schools, etc. want to deny us our right to exist because we are easier to treat like this... I'm afraid to take off the old behavior patterns, as it offers some security. - Changes, even for the better, always have traumatic effects... Be doing instead, - this is the solution. Only an action that comes out of our being, is useful… The more angry people are, - the more fanatical they throw themselves into activities… How can we learn to deal with the bustle of angry men? To live right now is the answer (not in the past or future, etc. - d.48)… At this moment there is neither pain nor fear nor anger. - At this moment we live... In fact my education, my education through school and church, all that I have learned, - erroneously learned, - helps to prevent me from fulfilling my needs... We all want to HAVE something (greed). So we do something instead of to BE (see Erich Fromm etc. – d.48)... But Wally (Minto) has got the view - that the universe has a sequence of stages: representing the BEING, DO and then HAVE... Bonding (bond) is a biological necessity... Dan (Casriel) called his technology of crying (see A. Janov) as a process of personal discovery. - He explained that we eleminate our contents of consciousness and cry out our pain, our fear, our anger. Then we can have positive experiences on the mats... An unspoken need cannot be fulfilled, which is obvious, - so I live a life full of loneliness and despair... (Lair / Lechler)
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