28.05.2000 - Interpretation of dali48
Before I knew the screaming, I did not realize that one can not talk about feelings - that one must feel them... - Most of us hate ourselves. We can not forgive our inadequacy, it means that we are failures, and we can not bear to fail - We compare ourselves to others. In our eyes, the others are successful, and that is the origin of our self-hatred - As long as we can not stand ourselves to be failures, to make mistakes, we will hate ourselves - We negate life and ourselves and live in the expectation of pain, fear and anger - so we are compelled to escape, retreat or fight, or we are ready to fight like rattlesnakes - The receipt for our behavior is deprivation and misery, a state of discomfort - Alcohol, drugs and other means of escape are used to make us forget our inadequacy - Peace comes when we reconcile ourselves to our very own being... - My old basic conviction tells me that I can not stand the pain, so I must get rid of it - To kill pain by suicide would, of course, mean the end of everything, and I do not want this - To eliminate the pain for a while, I just have to change my situation - The secret lies in changing our attitude, and the ability to change, each of us owns... - When we capitulate, our pompous ego is screwed back to its true greatness, and then we can receive all the gifts which are already ready for us - With our pompous ego we can not receive them - that remains a huge obstacle... - In America, much has been heard of Lourdes. There are many miracles, but it is not the place, but the faith of men. It is important to create an atmosphere of trust in which everyone can let go and trust "God" - This is unconditional capitulation... - Wherever you create such an atmosphere, miracles will happen. We have the power to create this atmosphere in our own families when we saturate our shortcomings by changing our attitudes - and becoming one with ourselves, with our family members, our surroundings... - Bonding does not stop anywhere - capitulations have no boundaries... - Our families, our schools, etc. want to deny us our right to exist - as we are then easier to deal with... - I am afraid to change the old behavioral pattern - since it offered some security... - Changes, even for the better - always have traumatic effects... - Being instead of doing - that is the solution. Only an action that comes out of our being is meaningful... - The more furious the human beings are - the more fanatical they plunge into activities. How can we learn to deal with the activity of angry people? - To live right now is the answer (not in the past - or future etc. - d.48)... - At this moment there is neither pain nor fear nor anger. At this moment, we only live... - In fact, my education by school and church, all I've learned - mistakenly learned - helps me not to fulfill my needs... - We all want to have something (greed). So we do something - instead of BEING. But Wally (Minto) argues that the universe has a sequence of steps:
From BE to DO and then to HAVE...
Binding is a biological necessity... - Dan (Casriel) describes his technique of primal scream (see A. Janov, etc. - d.48) as a process of personality discovery... - He explains that we eliminate our consciousness - and scream out our pain, our fear, our anger. Then we can also have positive experiences on the mats... - An unspoken need can not be fulfilled, that is clear - so I live a life full of loneliness and despair... (J.C. Lair / W.H. Lechler)
Golden Snow Our human minds are amazing to me, emotional pain can become an addiction to some people. Overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, depression, guilt, shame or fear can turn into real pain, the body reacts to our minds a lot of the time. I have learned through your diaries continual emotional pain is taken seriously. In some cases, we may need to see a physician before emotional pain has lasting consequences. I studied a lot harder than anyone would have thought, your diaries are wonderful. I am emotionally sound and my health is so much improved, thanks for sharing dali48.
Annex2 to the blogs of dali48
09/22/2011 - Interview with Author dali48 on Google +