Freitag, 5. Dezember 2014

12.07.2018 - The Snow Dance Part 95 by Golden Snow


diary of dali48: 01.07.2018 - Dalai Lama2 and inner satisfaction etc... http://dali48.blogspot.com/2014/09/9232014-dalai-lama-and-inner.html?spref=tw … see dali48 on Twitter,Google,Blogspot,http://Bod.de,FB,Pinterest,StumbleUpon
dali48 and writing books and photographing "flora and fauna" etc...

"Write your life - Or they'll wait till you're dead to write the lie"...  (@spectraspeaks)
 
Part 95... by Golden Snow

Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We awake one day and find out that it is an illusion. That person did not hold it at all. That love we thought they would hold, did not contain our happiness. We reach out in desperate moments and try to claim the happiness and love we need. We want them to create our joy. It cannot happen. We have to deal with our issues, and we have to find our own happiness. Did I know that then, not in a long run. I stepped into a situation that lasted for over twenty years. Was I unhappy? No, but unfulfilled. Our healing from abuse will come when we become aware of, how we attempt to use others to take away our pain...

Gaining our happiness remains in our own hands. I never learned this lesson until many years later from a great person who had patience with a hurt and destroyed woman. He lifted and whispered the words to save my dying soul. Some days these words hurt, other days they fill my soul and draw me up from my illusions. A man filled with love for all things. A man who himself walked the road to hell and still filled the world with love. It is hard to open one's soul to anyone and caution has to be taken, or we will find ourselves be hurt again...

When we lived a life of abuse it's like coming out of a muddy river dripping with dirt. We have to take time to breathe, to clean up and find ourselves before we go into any relationship. Of course we do not recognize this at that time what is happening because we just need the love we lack. We are desperate for relief of some kind. We are like an alcoholic. We have problems of codependency, and we will make mistakes. We all love to be cherished and loved. It is a need from within. It is not entirely bad. We all need love. We are all human and vulnerable. When the pain and hurt begins to lift we can acknowledge our feelings and slow down. We have to learn to be in the moment and not rush forward or stay in the past...

Golden Snow "Coming around the curve in the road dali48 , some things are hiding from memory , thanks for your help never would have reached this place without your encouragement ..."

Golden Snow
"Hello dali48 , again I thank you for your teaching and patience to keep me going , moving alone a little better ..."


Annex2 to the blogs of dali48





Donnerstag, 4. Dezember 2014

12.07.2018 - The Snow Dance Part 94 etc by Golden Snow


diary of dali48: 26.06.2018 - Spanish paella and recipes etc... http://dali48.blogspot.com/2018/06/26062018-spanish-paella-and-recipes-etc.html?spref=tw … see dali48 on Twitter,Google,Blogspot,http://Bod.de,FB,Pinterest,StumbleUpon
dali48 and writing books and cycling and photographing etc...


"Write your life - Or they'll wait till you're dead to write the lie"...  (@spectraspeaks)

Part 94... by Golden Snow

There was a lot of trouble, and it seemed happening around me. I have to be honest that I do not remember too much but will attempt to remember me as much as I can... They say we can have a selecting memory, and maybe I have chosen to leave it behind me. My youngest son suffered the most because he was living in part off my home. His father was living downstairs. Every evening he asked him to go out with him to see what I was doing.

Father McDonald told me he was always in the mall watching me from across the hall from the store and followed when I went to lunch but I never have seen him. I remember one day I looked out, and he sat on the bench in front of the store, was crying and his shoulders were shaking. I went out and told him that he would have to leave because he was not supposed to be near me. He grabbed my hand and started begging me to come home. I remember I said something that made him mad, and he left. He was really angry. The staff called the Father, and he came over to the store to bring me home. He said: "You have to move into the city, you are too far outside in order to be alone."

I loved the old school house and said: "Maybe later." Again he felt that he should stay for the night. I told him that he was a priest, and it was not right. He left...

Golden Snow "How can I thank you for all your hard work dali48 . Everything is so perfect ... you are a marvelous teacher ... thank you for your patience ..."


Annex2 to the blogs of dali48