Source: Golden Snow
"Write your life - Or they'll wait till you're dead to write the lie"... (@spectraspeaks)
Part 107... by Golden Snow
I managed to stay at home by myself. The nights were the worst because I would awake and hear Wayne out in the living room. I would have to go out to make sure that he wasn't there. I missed him, his supportive nature, and his hugs when I needed them. It felt lonely sitting at the table looking over the sleeping gardens, where once I found joy. I soon stopped the sitting there and sat in the front room. My meals were suffering because I ate chocolate and small meals of whatever was around. I walked the beaches in the middle of the night and listened to the sound of angry waves beating on the winter shores.
Shivering with cold I would go for a hot chocolate then home to the silence of my home. I did not know where I was going with my life, and everyone was concerned for me. Being environmentally ill left very few places I could go. Shopping was done in the night in stores that were open all night. The beach and the walks in the woods and by the brook were my outings. I felt isolated and forgotten. I became very frustrated the more I tried to figure out where I was going, and why it left me feeling more frustrated. I found my life so unmanageable. I was used to raise in the morning and looking after my husband, my gardens, and meals for him. Now the space was empty, and I could not fill it...
Thank you for sharing. Your braveness to fight illness has inspired me to face life in a different way dali48. I love the concept of living in the moment and breathing into it. This has improved my health both in body and mind.
