Donnerstag, 12. Oktober 2017

26.11.2019 - Carter / Sokol and shame and control and needs and feelings etc...

see diary of dali48: 24.02.2014 - Toxical maniacs and Valerian etc... dali48.blogspot.com
dali48 and writing books and cycling and photographing etc... 


29.04.2001 - Interpretation of dali48

Shame is deadly for human relationships. Shame drives us all into isolation and loneliness. Shame prevents us from becoming friends with others... - Perhaps you were misunderstood or ignored or rejected openly. Perhaps you were left alone completely. The world can be a very dangerous and painful place - You have learned to be safe - So you have also learned what shame is. We have built borders. If they are threatened, we panic or run away to make sure we are never hurt again... - If we do not share important feelings, we become prisoners of our own solitude - It is very painful to be rejected. It demands courage to show up, but the rewards are by far more than the risk... - Those who are satisfied are not so hard with others. People who are in agreement with themselves and with what they do, can also better accept other people... - What we should not accept: partners who physically, emotionally, financially or verbally abuse us; which are unfriendly to our children, friends, pets or families; which are unfaithful or dishonest, which diminish our achievements, etc... - Some of us do not believe in love, or do not recognize it, or do not believe that love is permanent. We feel guilty, vulnerable and weak when someone loves us. We feel dependent, insecure and are afraid to lose control. And all that we do not want to feel... - We are not honest with ourselves ... - The only perfect person is the one who has gone or who is married to someone else. Perfection is only in our imagination - A single person will never meet all your needs... - A heart and a soul - that is a fantasy that does not work... - For a relationship to succeed, both parties must want the same thing at the same time - If that is not the case, it does not count what else they have in common... - Relationships are always a risk and control is the opposite of risk. Control is an obstacle to feelings. Control is manipulation - and closes the doors to our heart... (S. Carter / J. Sokol)

Sep 13, 2019 - A fear of intimacy will thus affect all of your close relationships, ... see that although you've decided to overlook human relationships, ... inside; a feeling other people are 'dangerous' that you can't explain .... shame; childhood trauma; codependency; counterdependency .... Carter, Stephen and Julia Sokol.

dali48author ‏@dali48

05.10.2015 - Autoreninterview.doc - docs.google.com/document/d/17R see dali48 on Google,Blogspot,Bod.de,StumbleUpon,Pinterest,Twitter,Goodreads...



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diary of dali48: 08.10.2018 - Ecology and Environment and Interaction... http://dali48.blogspot.com/2018/10/08102018-ecology-and-environment-and.html?spref=tw … see dali48 on Twitter,Google,Blogspot,http://Bod.de,FB,Pinterest,StumbleUpon


dali48 and writing books and cycling and photographing etc...

see dali48 and warning of neo-fascism since 1989 and Climate Change since ca. 2000 and "Banking Crisis" 2008 and poor people and social diseases and speculation and homelessness and robots etc. - instead of UBI & Ecology - Uncontrolled capitalism produces evil as bees produce...

see dali48 and Climate Change and heat waves and dryness and burning and also floods and Hurricanes etc. - since ca. 2000 and despite Copenhagen 2009 etc. - instead of #ZeroHunger, solar & wind energy & UBI etc...


Mittwoch, 11. Oktober 2017

26.11.2019 - Couples and conflicts and self-esteem and partner / Anais Nin etc...


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dali48 and writing books and photographing in BAD etc...


30.04.2001 - Interpretation of dali48

But if you expect you to be loved only for your own sake, and feel shabby and disguised, if that is not so, then you have unrealistic expectations of what holds couples together... - Divorced children have suffered bigger problems in the first 2 years of separation than children from intact families. This applies to schooling, behavior, mental adaptation, self-esteem and social skills. If your marriage makes you too self-conscious and depressed, your children will also suffer from your emotional retreat... - People who are hurt and even hate at a time can learn to love each other again. Human beings can separate and return to one another - Human conflicts can be successfully resolved - An intimacy crisis can lead to significant changes and a stronger bond... - Violent conquests always win over affections, if only for a short time. So those who are worshiping lose against those who love each other. Later, when the passion fades and conflicts occur - they see the lover more critically and the partner in a more favorable light. But then there is probably no one left to return to. I advise you to a more cognitive - than emotional decision. If you are waiting to be more positive before you act positively - your partnership will not get very far...
A healthy, self-assured, competent adult:
1 Feelings of security - 2 Independence in everyday life - 3 Solid emotional connections with others - 4 Being appreciated - 5 Unhindered self-expression - 6 Imperfection and having fun - 7 To live with real limitations... (Abrahms / Spring)

We do not see things as they are - but as we are... (Anais Nin)

The injured partner:
Your silence is not the cause of the infidelity of your partner, but it will enable you to endure what is intolerable to you... - Through an affair, you can direct your hatred to yourself rather than to your unfaithful parent - You direct the anger you have on the person who has destroyed your family against yourself - Then you must not mourn the loss of the parent who was not there for you... - Openly talk to me about your feelings. Do not lock yourself, do not withdraw yourself, and do not attack me... - No proximity is without conflict - Stand to your desire, or you will remain nothing but the illusion of peace... (Abrams / Spring)

Self-esteem is an individual's subjective evaluation of their own worth. Self-esteem .... American psychologist Abraham Maslow included self-esteem in his ... and the need for self-respect in the form of self-love, self-confidence, skill, or aptitude. ... Childhood experiences that contribute to healthy self-esteem include being ...

Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell (February 21, 1903 – January 14, .... Faced with a desperate need for money, NinHenry Miller and some of their friends began in the 1940s to write erotic and pornographic narratives ...

dali48author ‏@dali48

05.10.2015 - Autoreninterview.doc - docs.google.com/document/d/17R see dali48 on Google,Blogspot,Bod.de,StumbleUpon,Pinterest,Twitter,Goodreads...



dali48 on Goodreads 
https://www.goodreads.com/dali48


 amazon.com/author/dali48 Share  
this URL:  diary3 by dali48 on twitter


diary of dali48: 08.10.2018 - Ecology and Environment and Interaction... http://dali48.blogspot.com/2018/10/08102018-ecology-and-environment-and.html?spref=tw … see dali48 on Twitter,Google,Blogspot,http://Bod.de,FB,Pinterest,StumbleUpon




Collection ediary 6-12 of dali48

dali48 and writing books and cycling and photographing etc...

see dali48 and warning of neo-fascism since 1989 and Climate Change since ca. 2000 and "Banking Crisis" 2008 and poor people and social diseases and speculation and homelessness and robots etc. - instead of UBI & Ecology - Uncontrolled capitalism produces evil as bees produce...

see dali48 and Climate Change and heat waves and dryness and burning and also floods and Hurricanes etc. - since ca. 2000 and despite Copenhagen 2009 etc. - instead of #ZeroHunger, solar & wind energy & UBI etc...